đ Motherhood, Love⌠and Zero Energy to Feel Anything
A gentle EFT guide for moms who care deeply but feel numb, overwhelmed, or disconnected.
EFT for Moms Who Love Deeply but Feel Numb, Overwhelmed, or Just Done
You love your child more than anythingâ
âŚand yet, some days you secretly Google things like: âCan a person evaporate from sheer emotional overload?â
Youâre not heartless. Youâre just exhausted.
And this is exactly where EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) beginsânot in perfection, but in honesty.
đ What EFT Actually Means for Moms
EFT says:
We donât handle emotions by being tougherâwe handle them through connection.
Children donât âoverreact.â Theyâre really asking: âAre you here with me?â
When you feel numb, irritated, or empty, your body isnât failing. Itâs protecting you.
Itâs whispering: âSurvival is more important than feeling right now.â
Thatâs not weakness. Thatâs biology.
đ§ The EFT Process â But in Real Life (Not Therapist Language)
1. Self-Attunement â Notice whatâs happening inside, not what you should feel
Before fixing anything, before parenting perfectly, pause and ask:
Whatâs happening in my body right now?
Tight chest?
Jaw clenched?
Heart racing?
Tears stuck somewhere behind the eyes?
This is not drama. This is your inner GPS.
2. Self-Compassion â A soft answer to yourself
Not: âIâm a terrible mom. Iâm too sensitive.â
More like:
âOf course I feel overwhelmedâtoday was a lot.â
âIâm not broken. Iâm overloaded.â
âMy body is trying to protect me. That makes sense.â
Self-compassion isnât pity. Itâs warmth. Itâs your inner hand on your own shoulder.
3. Let the Emotion Drop â from the mind into the body
EFT doesnât say, âThink positive.â
It says, âFeel whatâs already inside.â
Not the story (âIâm failingâ), but the sensation:
the lump in your throat
the burning behind your eyes
the shaky breath in your chest
First feel â then soothe.
4. Internal Joining â Stay with yourself
This is the part most moms skip.
We run straight to the childâeven when weâre empty.
EFT says:
Stay with yourself first. Donât abandon you.
âIâm here. I know it hurts. I wonât leave myself right now.â
5. External Joining â Then turn toward your child (soft, not perfect)
Once something inside you softens just a little, you reach outânot from pressure, but from presence.
You might say things like:
âI can see youâre upset. Iâm comingâI just needed a second to come back to myself.â
âItâs a lot for both of us. Iâm going to stay with you.â
âYou donât have to fight so hard. Iâm here.â
After yelling: âThat scared you. Iâm sorry. I shouldnât have shouted. Iâm here now.â
đŠâđ§ Real-Life Moments â EFT with Your Child
| Situation | What EFT might sound like |
|---|---|
| Child crying and you feel numb | âI see youâre upset. Iâm trying to catch up inside, and Iâll be right with you.â |
| You yelled and feel horrible | âI know I scared you. I shouldnât have yelled. Iâm still here. You didnât lose me.â |
| Child says âGo away!â | âYouâre angry. I get it. And Iâm not leaving.â |
| You want to run away | Inside: âNo wonder I want to escape. Iâm overwhelmed. Breathe.â |
| Child melts down brushing teeth | âThis is hard for you. Letâs slow down. Iâll stay with you, even if weâre both tired.â |
đ Emotionally Accurate (and Slightly Funny) Mom Phrases to Keep Forever
âHang onâI need to reconnect my inner Wi-Fi before I connect with you.â
âIâm not cold. Iâm just emotionally defrosting.â
âMy nervous system is on flight mode. Please wait.â
âI love youâeven if my under-eye circles say otherwise.â
âIâm comingâI just need to collect my soul off the floor first.â
đż Why This Isnât WeaknessâItâs Attachment
Because:
Softening takes more strength than suppressing.
Your child doesnât need a perfect motherâjust one who stays emotionally reachable.
Connection doesnât start with your child.
It starts the moment you come home to yourself.
⨠If You Only Remember One Thing:
âYou donât become a better mom by trying harder.
You become a more connected mom by turning inwardâsoftlyâand then back toward your child.â
That is EFT.
That is love, even when youâre tired.
That is enough.
