🌿 EMDR Is Great — But Sometimes EFIT Goes Deeper
Why healing isn’t only about processing the past, but about feeling safe in your body again
You’ve probably heard it before.
Someone says, with hope in their voice,
“I think I need EMDR. That’s the thing that helps with trauma.”
And it’s true — EMDR is an amazing, science-backed approach.
It calms the nervous system, helps your brain organize old memories,
and quiets the inner noise that’s been looping for so long.
But sometimes, even after EMDR, something lingers.
Your mind says, “It’s over.”
Your body whispers, “I’m still not safe.”
That’s where EFIT — Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy — comes in.
EFIT brings your body, emotions, and relationships together again.
Because real healing isn’t only understanding the past.
It’s feeling safe right now. 💛
🧠 Psychoeducation: What’s really happening inside
Trauma isn’t just an event.
It’s what happens inside when no one is there to hold you.
Your body learned: “I’m alone. I have to protect myself.”
So even years later, your body still remembers.
Tight chest. Knot in the stomach. Shallow breath.
All normal reactions — your body’s way of saying, “Something still feels dangerous.”
EFIT works where words often stop — in the body, in emotion, in connection.
It’s not just a technique. It’s an experience.
One that quietly tells your nervous system:
You’re not alone anymore. You can rest now.
💫 EMDR: Organizing the mind, calming the system
EMDR is like gently reorganizing a crowded attic.
Memories get sorted and stored properly, so they no longer jump out unexpectedly.
The emotional charge decreases.
You can sleep again. You can think clearly. You can breathe.
But EMDR mostly works with what happened.
It helps you reprocess old memories.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
Other times, something is still missing —
the deep felt sense that you’re no longer alone.
❤️🩹 EFIT: Where body, emotion, and connection meet
EFIT doesn’t ask, “What happened back then?”
It asks, “What do you feel right now — and where do you feel it in your body?”
EFIT creates a new experience, while you’re feeling.
An experience your body may never have had before:
Someone stays.
Someone helps you feel, without fixing.
Someone says, with presence, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
That’s what changes things — not just thoughts, but the way your nervous system stores safety.
🌸 A small, everyday scene
You come home after a long day.
Someone asks, “Are you okay?”
You smile and say, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
But inside, your chest feels heavy.
Your stomach tightens.
Your breath catches.
Your body remembers: When I was small, no one was really there.
EMDR can help you process that memory.
EFIT helps you feel safe right now — even while you remember.
So this time, you’re not alone inside your own story.
🧘♀️ Other body-based trauma approaches that help
There are several powerful methods that, like EFIT, help the body complete unfinished stress responses.
🌿 Somatic Experiencing (SE)
Helps your body release held energy — through trembling, sighing, softening. Gentle and titrated.
🪞 Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Integrates mindfulness, small physical movements, and emotion. Especially useful when the body tends to shut down quickly.
💫 Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Gives voice to your inner parts — the ones that protect, hide, or freeze. It brings compassion to every piece of your inner world.
Each of these can support healing.
But EFIT uniquely adds something essential: bonding and emotional safety — the piece that lets your nervous system truly settle.
🌿 The 6 steps of EFIT practice — healing you can feel
This small practice takes only a few minutes.
🌿 Step 1. Pause and notice
Take a slow breath. Feel your feet on the floor, your back on the chair.
💫 Step 2. Name the feeling
What are you feeling? Where in your body do you notice it?
🌸 Step 3. Ask what it needs
Whisper inside: “What do you need right now?”
Maybe it says, “Hold me.” Maybe it says, “Don’t rush me.”
❤️🩹 Step 4. Offer presence
Place your hand where you feel it.
Say quietly, “I’m here. I’m not leaving.”
✨ Step 5. Connect the dots
What does this feeling remind you of?
A time you were scared? Unseen? Alone?
Just stay. Keep breathing.
🌼 Step 6. Invite a new experience — together
Now imagine someone is with you.
Maybe it’s me, your therapist, sitting quietly with you.
Or your older, wiser self, saying, “I’m here. You’re safe.”
Or a safe person — someone who brings warmth and steadiness.
Stay with the feeling, together.
If tears come, they’re welcome.
If your body softens, that’s healing beginning.
Take one last slow breath.
That’s your body remembering safety.
🌼 Why EFIT often goes deeper
EFIT isn’t just talking about feelings.
It’s feeling in safety.
You don’t have to manage emotions — you learn to stay with them.
Your body reacts, and you remain present.
And in that space, something shifts.
That’s how change begins: not in control, but in connection.
If you’d like to learn more about EFIT, you can visit
Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT).
And if you’re curious how these ideas show up in relationships,
take a look at EFT Couples Therapy.
✨ It’s not too late — and you’re not too far gone
Maybe it’s been hard for a long time.
Maybe you’ve tried so much, and nothing really changed.
Maybe you’re just tired of being strong all the time.
Please don’t give up.
Healing isn’t only for others — it’s for you too.
Your body, your heart, your whole system can learn to feel safe again,
no matter how long it’s been.
Sometimes change begins not with a big step,
but with a quiet decision: I want to feel myself again.
If you’d like, I can walk with you for a bit.
In a free 20-minute consultation, we can talk,
see what’s happening for you,
and explore how EFIT or EFT might help you find your way back to connection.
You can find peace again.
You can learn to feel safe again.
And maybe — it begins with one gentle conversation. 💛
Because sometimes, healing starts the moment you realize —
you don’t have to go through it alone. 💫🌿
Sources:
The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. Guilford Press.
The Trauma Research Foundation: https://www.traumaresearchfoundation.org
✨ Your body remembers. But this time, it can remember safety.